Izzie's Debut

The venue for the second February meeting was at the residence of Tony 'Nigella' Gillam, where we traded news while chomping on mini-egg chocolate nest cakes to the faint clink of chains from upstairs.

Annie has entered the Malvern short-story competition As You Read It with the intention of repeating last year's triumph when, as one of the six winners, she read her entry to a rapt audience in Malvern's Forum Theatre. The editor she was intending to approach at a literary agency with her children's book has unfortunately moved on, so she is considering alternative agencies.

From short story to novel: Tony announced that, having experienced recent difficulty in getting articles published in magazines, he has decided to write a novel.
'What's it about?' we asked him.
'About 2,000 words,' he replied.
I've always felt that Tony has a novel in him - something along the lines of Lake Wobegon Days perhaps, only better. We look forward to reading the first chapter.

From novel to short story: Linda has almost finished the rewrite of her novel A Head Full of Budgerigars but the failure of the hard drive on her computer has interrupted progress. Fortunately the creature is still under guarantee. While it is being repaired at P C World she has been working on the outline of a short story.

I sold six copies of 'Why Don't You Fly?' at a talk. I am working on the last six chapters of Karl Marx and Careful Driving. As I yo-yo between the extremes of yeasty optimism and black despair I find myself wondering if the damn thing will ever be finished, never mind published.

Izzie is submitting an April Fool's joke to the BBC in the hope that it will be read out on air. She is also thinking of entering a short-story competition (theme: 'Going on a Journey) run by National Express Coaches.

Izzie read out her first piece of writing to be given the 'SVA treatment', a short story entitled Half a Hundred Things. It describes the plight of a working mother juggling career and children. She struggles throughout with exhaustion and stress. An accident in which she falls downstairs and breaks her wrist elicits scant sympathy from her equally stressed husband. The forced absence from work brings her unaccustomed time to reflect and to the realisation that she must 'find new job and divorce husband'. The piece was strong on detail and ended with a nice, optimistic feeling of 'better times to come' but more dialogue would have served to break it up and enable Izzie to 'show rather than tell' the reader of her character's frustrations. A little more humour might also prevent readers from losing sympathy with a narrator who seemed to be prone to self-pity. There were one or two minor technical issues involving punctuation and the overuse of certain words, which we all struggle with at times - but a few more sessions with the SVA will soon iron those out.

Linda felt that Half a Hundred Things would be appropriate for a women's magazine. Her suggestion of Lucky Break as an alternative title drew a round of applause. She commented that a little more economy and more dialogue would improve the story.

Tony described Half a Hundred Things as an enjoyable and authentic internal monologue, but also remarked upon the characters predisposition to self-pity. The contraction of 'cannot' to 'can't' and 'there is' to  'there's' would give the writing more informality. A good edit would iron out repetition and grammatical errors. His assessment betrayed an unexpected antipathy - as a mental-health nurse - to Izzie's use of the term 'male nurse'. "After all," he pointed out, "you wouldn't say 'female doctor', would you?"

Hmmm....

Rob said that although the mention of the pendant at the beginning and end of the story gave it a good shape, it read more like a column or a blog than a short story. The ending was handled well and it had good potential.

Annie echoed the general observation of the character's inclination to 'whinge'. She suggested that calling the husband by his name would make it feel more personal. Some more specific description of the chaos left by children (such as an escaped hamster, for example) would be an opportunity to dilute the self-pity with humour.

We finished with a discussion of the appropriate usage of 'might' and 'may', a point that we've discussed before. It continues to cause problems, however. Fortunately, I had Pocket Fowler's Modern English Usage with me:

1. 'With reference to present or future possibility, may and might are both used, but with may the possibility is more open and with might it is more tentative or remote.' 

2. With reference to possibility in the past, may have leaves it open whether an event or circumstance was actually the case, whereas might have implies that it was not, and is explicit that it was not when the statement is part of an unfulfilled condition introduced by if or by inversion.

Any the wiser? I tend to use the unscientific method of going with whichever option sounds right, trusting my instincts and hoping for the best.

Next meeting is at Chris and Linda's at 7 p.m. on Tuesday 12. As a departure from our usual format, we'll be discussing the benefits of Internet goodies like Facebook, Twitter, Websites and Blogs.

More than two schools of nonsense?

Izzie wasn't able to be with us for our first meeting in January so it was a band of five who settled down to bought  cakes and cookies to swap success stories. After ten seconds of silence we moved on to other news.

Tony has taken on board the group's comments after his last reading and is much happier with the new draft of his Idle Speed Control story. Rob is putting the final touches to the first full draft of his novel. During this process the pupa that was The Sting Inside  has morphed  into the butterfly that is The Sign. Linda has spent some time grappling with technology and now has a new blog. She is also taking part in a podcast with some writers in New Zealand. Chris is on the home stretch of his marathon opus - he is now only six chapters from the end. Annie is thinking about doing the illustrations for her children's book herself.

Indeed it is Annie's children's book Aunty Fay's Beach Café that was the subject of the reading. Annie also read the submission letter she intends to send to her selected agent. Clue: she likes baking.

As far as the letter was concerned the overall judgement was that it could be improved in a couple of sections by going back to the original and that Annie should be more forthright about her writing successes.

We all enjoyed 'Aunty Fay…' - no I'd better rephrase that. We all enjoyed Annie's reading of the poem about the cafe and the weird food that is served there. Each of us pinpointed a favourite word-combination or image. Chris and Rob became over-heated about whether 'boy-twins' or 'twin-boys' fitted the poem better. Linda as ever was called upon to stop the boys coming to blows.

An interesting discussion centred around the two 'schools of nonsense'. In the first, Linda called it the Owl and the Pussycat school, the author uses commonplace objects (animate and inanimate) and connects them in a nonsensical way. In the second, (here I have to own up to not noting whether it was Tony or Linda who gave it the name) the Jabberwocky school, the objects themselves are nonsensical. Annie's poem mixes these two approaches in an innovative way and opinions were divided as to whether this was a good or bad thing to do.

As the pointilators on the tempranillo showed that the slumpty hour approacheth, the percolator slammed down his gampel and declared the conpetication slorpeth. But only until the nonsense resumes at Tony's house on the 26th.

Idle-Speed Control or Idle Speed-Control?

(Written by Annie. Posted by Rob)

Izzie did not have much to report but she was pleased with herself for completing lots of blog entries. She has also entered the Writers’ and Artists’ Short Story Competition.

Linda is half-way through the re-write of her novel and had little to report apart from that.

Chris has been to Coventry to give a talk to 70 people. It had gone very well and he found them a very responsive group.  Congratulations to Chris who was wearing Tuesday socks on a Tuesday (Tony would be proud!).

I am continuing with my children’s book and am planning on entering the Malvern short story competition run by Malvern Theatre.

Tony announced that the Bridport prize was open for entries and that he had had an article published on resilience.

Tony read his piece called Idle Speed Control.

I thought that references to road rage had thrown the reader off the scent which then allowed the story to take an unexpected turn. I did want to know what the regular trip to Bristol was for. The description of the sea-gull as being off-white did cause me some confusion as I think that they are very white.

Chris went for the jugular and started with a moan about the title –no less – asking whether Idle Speed Control needed a hyphen. Chris did enjoy the Herbie references: CK55 TXP Goes Bananas and CK55 TXP Goes to Monte Carlo. He did think that the nature description was too much of a digression from the story. Then there was the use of the word then!

Linda said that the piece had an air of tragi-comedy. She loved the bit when Paul was pretending to be a Dutchman. She was confused by the black queen chess piece and its relevance to the story. Paul’s character was also a concern to her as he was willing to pocket £110 that was rightfully the money of a beggar woman who simply eeked out an existence.

Izzie was sceptical that Paul had not noticed the beggar woman until the windscreen had been washed. She also felt that an explanation was needed about who Julie was.

During Tony’s right to reply he explained that the story brief was to write about three objects: a black queen, a £10 note and a bunch of flowers. This explained why they were together in this story. The piece was well written and had some very amusing parts but did seem to raise too many questions to give a rounded ending. 

The group also talked about having a technology night where there would be time to discuss podcasts, twitter and blogging.

Next meeting: 12^th February, Rob host, Rob to blog and Annie to read.

Onwards and Upwards in 2013

SVA meeting at Izzie’s, 8^th January 2013.                                                                       

Blogger: Izzie

The group were subjected to chocolate lolly pops and Mrs Crimble’s coconut rings.

News

Chris had nothing to report after suffering from ‘Man flu’ over the New Year. (Sorry Chris).

I have been trying to set up a blog. There is more work involved in this than I had originally thought and so I have enlisted expert help (my husband).

Rob originally had nothing to report, but then let slip that he had picked up his book again and was busy changing the theme to guilt and destiny.

Annie has been working on ‘Auntie Faye’s Beach Café’ and reported that her rhyming was unravelling, it was going horribly wrong, but progress was being made.

Tony announced that he’d had an article printed in the Shrewsbury Chronicle and the South Shropshire Journal. Unfortunately there was no payment for his efforts, but he did receive a Thank you note from Malcolm Saville’s daughter. He has also entered the Commonwealth Short Story competition.

Linda has also had flu, although hasn’t suffered as much as Chris (obviously). She reports being a quarter of the way through a re-write of ‘A Head Full of Budgerigars’ and is planning to submit around March/April time.

Linda read Chapter 26 from ‘A Head Full of Budgerigars.’

Chris thought it was well-polished and liked the liberal sprinkling of French throughout. He also queried the use of a hyphen in Prussian blue. The group were split fifty-fifty on whether or not this was required.

I thought it was well-written, but felt out of the loop coming in at Chapter 26. I queried whether, or not councils were referred to as such in France and whether or not, a comma was required in line 146. More to follow on the comma…

Rob queried the use of ‘Alcoholic ether,’ but the general consensus from the group was that it was quite acceptable and that we could almost smell the fumes. Rob was also uncertain about the phrase ‘Smile as wide as Woking.’ It was suggested that it might be better to insert the name of a French location beginning with W instead, to avoid potential problems with translation when Linda’s book goes global.

Annie loved the descriptions and in particular the rhyming line, ‘He must have left his head in the shed this morning.’ There was much discussion about the comment, ‘He must have been born without pants,’ more to follow on this too.

Tony loved the poetic language that never stopped telling the story and queried the use of ‘clenched fists and fish eyes,’ to describe Malcolm.

Linda agreed that there were too many animals used to describe Malcolm’s character and explained the famous Greek phrase that was puzzling everyone. Apparently ‘He must have been born without pants,’ translates quite simply to ‘He’s an idiot.’

The Prussian blue argument was eventually resolved by the dictionary. Apparently if used as a noun it isn’t required. When used as an adjective a hyphen is required. It would be unfair to list those members who were in the wrong on this, especially as I was one of them!

The following paragraph is entirely for my benefit, so feel free to skip it. Vocative commas are placed before, after, or around a noun or pronoun used independently in speaking to a person, place, or thing. E.g. ‘I hope, Izzie, that you will remember this.’ Several members of the group claimed to not knowing about vocative commas before joining the group, although this may have been said to make me feel better.

For those of you who are interested in the Prima short story competition, here are the details. Email your entry, which should be no longer than 300 words to: yourwinningstory@hearst.co.uk including your name, age, address, phone number and a recent photo. This is a monthly competition and the prize is typically an eReader with magazine subscriptions to Prima for the runners-up.

The next meeting will be at Rob’s house on 22^nd January. We are all looking forward to testing out Rob’s baking. Tony will be reading and Rob will be blogging.

In which Chris starts a Revolution

(Written by Annie posted by Rob.) 

Our new member Izzie Anderton was in attendance. We met at my house and (with minutes to spare) I managed to make a chocolate fridge cake topped with some festive cranberries.

News:

 Tony told us about the recent publication of his article. Izzie is working on a short story. Rob had no news and then proceeded to tell us about an article written about ’50 Shades of Grey’ by Victoria Coren. She advises men not to rush to emulate the behaviour of Christian Grey, ‘Even the guy in the book is silly, never mind you pretending to be him, on a Thursday night after too much Theakston's Old Peculier.’

Although this perhaps isn’t ‘writerly’ news Jayne did recommend, ‘Heat-Holder Socks’ but I don’t think it had any links to 50 Shades. Linda has had a break from ‘writing’ to spend some time researching and preparing to submit her novel to agents.

We looked at Chris’s piece which was a pitch to an agent. He had written to her many years ago and had decided to contact her again with a much more substantial project than before. Also included was a synopsis of the ‘Karl Marx and Careful Driving Trilogy’.

Well you learn something new every writing group and this week’s surprise from Chris was that there was an English revolution. A quick consultation with Wikipedia (as I have already forgotten the facts) tells me:

The Glorious Revolution of 1688, whereby James II was replaced by William III and Mary II as monarch and a constitutional monarchy established, was described by Whig historians as the English Revolution.

Linda enjoyed the pieces and so did Jayne. It reminded Jayne of ‘The Life of Pi’ and she thought it sharply written. Rob had concerns about Chris’s self-effacing manner in the covering letter and wanted a clearer structure. Tony felt that the letter was well-written but wanted Chris to produce a professional letterhead than included all contact details. Chris had written the postal address at the top and Tony felt it, ‘gave the impression that he was still scribbling away with a fountain pen on Basildon Bond.’ I am sure Chris will agree that half the fun of writing group is having the absolute bleeding obvious pointed out in a tongue-in-cheek way!

Other facts that we learnt from Chris are that the ‘Velvet Revolution’ took place in Prague, Czechoslovakia in November 1989 and refers to the bloodless relinquishing of political power by the Communists.

And finally…

I was asked to post this information that I have recently taught to 8 and 9 year olds so that members of the group could be reminded of some of the finer points of pluralisation. 

Pluralising words ending in Y

The rules that need to be followed are: look to the letter immediately before the y.

If it is a vowel then simply add an ‘s’

e.g. monkey to monkeys, donkey to donkeys, survey to surveys,

If the letter is a consonant then remove the y and add –ies

e.g. party to parties, family to families, jelly to jellies, pony to ponies

And suddenly the penny drops…

The Sting Inside

On November 27th we met at Rob's house. We did our usual 'any news' around the group and heard that Annie already has plans for her next children's book entitled Lazy Days at the Beach Cafe, Tony has made progress with his article for Mental Health Practice, Chris is considering working on a coffee-table version of Why Don't You Fly, Rob is now a star of Radio 4 and I am about to start work on the re-write of my book. All in all, we are a busy lot. We also discussed Jayne's attendance at our next meeting on December 11th at Annie's house. If an extract from Chris's book doesn't put a new member off then nothing will! Welcome, Jayne.

Rob read a powerful extract from The Sting Inside which was enjoyed by all. It struck me how difficult it must be to aptly describe the horror of an event that is still so vividly etched in our minds. I don't think that anyone could forget the television footage of the attack on the twin towers and the hideous pictures of people leaping to their death. Rob described this so well by focusing on one person, a woman jumping from the tower clutching a pair of high heels. 'Did she think she was going to need them when she reached the ground?' Rob asks.

Annie asked why the woman answering the phone in the Shapiro home hadn't recognised Jay's voice when clearly an English voice would stand out.

Chris and Tony expressed doubt about Rob's use of the word 'we' for Jay and the Sting, the voice of 'guilt'. We understand that the Sting is the narrator but at times the two voices must be separated which then seems awkward. Rob defended his position on this saying they were like Siamese twins dragging one another along.

We all agreed that the piece had a great sense of drama and that the voice of 'guilt' works very well. 'Toast! They're toast, Jay and you should be up there with them.' Tony asked if the voice was English or American and Rob said that he wasn't sure at the moment.

There were some great lines in this. I particularly liked 'There is an absence, the imagined outline of a space filled with sky, where the second tower should be.' This was a gripping read, poignant and powerful. We all enjoyed it, Rob.

Another Cake Episode

SVA Meeting at Chris and Linda's Tuesday 13 November
Blogger: Chris

Annie had intimated that she might be late because of a parents' evening. As it was her writing we were to examine we could hardly start without her, so we talked bollocks for around twenty minutes, guzzled Linda's home-made gluten-free chocolate brownies and slurped tea and coffee until she turned up.

News

Linda has been perfecting the first two chapters of her novel (provisionally entitled A Head Full of Budgerigars) prior to her final mentoring session with Kathryn Heyman of the Gold Dust Mentoring Scheme. After the final session, which in which she will request advice about approaching agents and publishers, she will be doing a final re-write. She admitted to 'teetering between optimism and realism'.

My only news was that an eagle-eyed reader of 'Why Don't You Fly?' has alerted me to a typo in the final chapter. What should appear as might on Page 267 appears as migt. Although the mistake was absent from the first edition of the book it has appeared in subsequent editions. I will be raising the matter with Pen Press as the error must be down to the printer. Migt might cause the translator for the mandarin version which is to be published and sold in China next year no end of confusion...

Rob announced that he had been similarly traumatised by the discovery of a missing vocative comma in his recently published novel No Mean Affair. The rest of his news was more encouraging. His talk at Solihull Library was attended by only nine people but he sold three copies of No Mean Affair. It is to be followed by a talk to Hagley U3A in March and another session with his publisher at Bromsgrove's Artrix Centre (www.bromsgrovewords.com). Even better, he told us that he will be talking about his novel on the Radio Four programme Making History on Tuesday 20 November An appearance on national radio might provide the helping hand up the ladder we all hope for. Will he be nervous? we asked. He assured us that he would.

Tony handed out copies of his article entitled Treasure and Miracles in 'Deep England' which was published in the Malcolm Saville Society's Magazine. Sadly he didn't receive any payment for an authoritative, well-written and comprehensively-researched article - a matter I feel strongly about. Those magazines and newspapers that depend on submissions should be prepared to pay for them. How many other people work for free?

Annie announced that the Parents' Evening had been 'intense'. She intends to send off her children's book to publishers after we'd all had the opportunity to critique it along with her pitch to agents / publishers - the evening's main business.

Critique

Annie's 411-word children's book, entitled Auntie Faye's Beach Cafe, is a wacky poem full of strong imagery. It reminded me of the Dr Seuss books I used to read as a child. Set to the right illustrations, I imagine it would be a hit with children.

I think we all liked the idea. Annie has skilfully crammed rhyming words into single lines (It's in the bay, about halfway, not faraway, so why not stay?), giving the lines their own distinctive sound. A refrain after each verse is intended to encourage the children to join in. In her pitch she describes the section at the end of the book as 'a unique selling point' so perhaps I'd better not mention it here. I imagine it could be used by both parents and teachers.  

Tony and Rob expressed concern about the rhythm and scanning of some of the lines and came up with their own suggestions for improvements.

Linda loved the idea and felt that children would really like it, but she also had issues with the scan.

Rob remarked that there was over-use of the passive voice in the pitch, and Tony felt that it was a little too long. Perhaps the biographical details could be shortened. Another way to shorten it would be to drop quotations from the poem - unnecessary for a work of only 411 words.

The overall feeling was that the poem was a great idea that needs only one or two minor amendments to address the occasional problem with scanning. We wish Annie the best of luck with her approaches to agents and publishers and hope that Auntie Faye's Beach Cafe will be the first of many.

The next meeting will be on Tuesday 27 November at Rob's. Rob will be reading and Linda will be blogging.